Peter's best smile yet!
I feel like the weeks are just going by faster and faster! I go back to work in 2 weeks and am trying to gear up and prepare for what that's going to be like. Like most women, I'm dreading it. I love my job and I know it's going to be fine once I get into the swing of things, but I still feel incredibly emotional about leaving Peter for part of the day. We are incredibly lucky to have our parents to help us with child care and they are even going to come to our house. But it's still incredibly hard! I usually spend a good portion of the morning holding Peter and cuddling him. Right now I'm planning to work mornings so I'm going to miss that a lot. I realize that I can just cuddle him at 6am when I feed him before work too - so maybe I just need to start a new routine. I'm trying to keep track of when he eats/sleeps so that I can tell my parents/in laws what to expect when they are watching him - despite him not being on much of a schedule yet. He is slowly starting to develop one which is good. It helps me to write it down to see if a pattern emerges.
I'm so amazed by the intense bond that I feel with Peter. I know it sounds obvious, but it's way way more intense than I ever expected. My girlfriends have assured me that while going back to work is really hard, that it does get easier. It won't always feel like my guts are being ripped out. Unfortunately I work right next to the pediatricians, so I have feeling that's going to be emotionally hard (hearing babies cry and wishing I was with mine), let alone lactating every time a baby wails! I think my hormones are getting the best of me right now, and probably will for the next 1-2 months. Bear with me!
Meanwhile - I am loving the fall. It rained last night and this morning and it just plain smells good outside! Jake and I are loving parenthood and our little dude. I am surrounded by the greatest friends near and far. My heart feels so full!
No doubt about it, going back to work sucks. However, millions of women make it work, and in this day and age, few of us really have the choice, unfortunately. That said, you WILL get used to the new routine and you WON'T want to kill yourself after a few weeks of adjustment disorder :) Just kidding, you're fabulous at your job and you'll transition back without too many hiccups - and that's why someone invented iPhones - for FaceTime and picture texts!
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